Enter The Crazy

As Guideline #1 mentions, all women are crazy. However, there are some that just push the definition of crazy over the edge and completely redefine it. This is where Tattoos comes in. I’m still not sure how we met or how she even knew me, but I remember the first time she recognized me. She was with a guy and she ran up to me, jumped up and wrapped her legs and arms around me. That is a great way to say hello when you actually know the person.

However, here I am with a fine looking woman that I’m still not to sure how I know and her male companion simply staring at me. Who in the hell was this guy? Was there going to be some problems? She told me he was her driver, but obviously he had some interest in her because men just don’t drive women to clubs so they can run off with other men. This was the power of Tattoos though, she drove men to do crazy things all in the name of her sex.

I’m always amused when girls go out with me to a club or bar and they feel the need to keep up when it comes to the consumption of alcohol. When women are having fun and alcohol is around they seem to want to drink more and more without any regards to what their tolerance is. Nothing fazes them until it all hits them at once and they collapse on the floor.

From the moment she wrapped her legs around me it was apparent that Tattoos was going home with me. On the way home she really had to use the bathroom so we stopped at a gas station and she disappeared. When I say she disappeared I mean it literally. She disappeared for a good ten minutes. The gas station attendant grew so concerned he came out to the car to see if I could go check on her.

I go in to check on her and she is passed out on the toilet with her pants down. Classy. I like to believe that every guy has a line they won’t cross with regards to how drunk a woman will be before they choose not to have sex with her and Tattoos had crossed that line. Drunk sex is fun, but only when both of you are around the same level.

We make it back to my place and miraculously she is sobered up. Apparently this girl is a drinking pro and she knows her phases. However, I’m still not convinced about the sex and I suggest that we just lay down and go to sleep and we can always resume in the morning. She was not having it and simply goes to work on me. That is the only way I can describe it. When it comes to sex either you are doing the sexing, you both have found a nice equilibrium where the two of you are working as one or you are getting sexed up. She sexed me the hell up, words can not describe it.

We finish and go to sleep only to be awoken by her alarm at seven in the morning. I can only assume she has to go to work or something because no one in their right mind sets an alarm that early after a night of drinking and partying. I was wrong. The alarm was to tell her it was time to take her pills. What kind of pills? I asked and she told me, “Oh nothing.”

I am not sure you understand how scary it is to have sex with someone and then be woken up by their alarm to watch them take pills that come with no description. Was it birth control? Chlamydia fighters? Crazy pills? I still to this day have no idea. After hanging out with her a couple more times I came to the conclusion they were crazy pills because she took them whenever I was around and I tend to have the effect on women.