4th Grade Crush

In the Summer of ‘89 I went to a nerdy summer school where I got to meet a lot of new people. I don’t remember much about the school, but I do remember seeing a girl in the distance. She was beyond description. She was the first crush I ever had where I didn’t get her name or even meet her. I only saw her once that summer, but I never forgot how she looked.

By a twist of fate we ended up going to the same high school. She was on the dance team. She wore lots of skirts to school. She was best friends with my girlfriend. Yep, best friends with my girlfriend and wore a ton of skirts and had blossomed into a woman. Fuck my life.

Now I’m sure many guys understand this trend. You start to date a girl and out of no where she brings a new friend and the friend looks really good. I mean really good to the point where part of you starts to wonder why you didn’t meet the friend before you met your girlfriend. It’s an evil way to think, but it is also an evil cycle that we get put through. You are really screwed if the friend turns out to be cooler than your girlfriend.

Moving along we ended up going to the same college while my girlfriend went to school in another city. To nobody’s surprise we broke up because of distance and college allows you to meet new people you never got to meet before. There was no hard feelings, but this allowed me to move onto the 4th grade crush. Well, time waits for no man and when you are a good looking girl the odds are you have a man and in this case she did have a man. An attractive man that all the women liked. Foreign with a heavy accent. Also a major asshole and douchebag who I would love to have beaten the living hell out of.

Crush and I would hangout all the time and over time became really good friends. She would share with me her struggles in her relationship and I would share with her my failed attempts to catch women. At the time we were still virgins and I had this fantasy that we would lose our virginity to each other. Of course that never materialized and I remember the day she told me she lost her virginity to Mr. Asshole. I was crushed, hurt and angry, but she wasn’t my girl and I knew I had no right to really feel this way.

Finally, she ended the poisonous relationship she had with her man, but I was trying to get with a woman that I decided to move in with. But of course right? My senior year in college I went out to the club that Crush worked at and we danced as we always did, but this time it was different. I can’t explain why it was different, but the electricity that was always there was magnified. I went in for the kiss and it happened. I had been waiting for this kiss since the age of 9 and now I was 21. 12 years just for a kiss. She was smoking a cigarette and I remember thinking that an ashtray never tasted so good.