Guideline #6 Excerpt

(Note: This is an excerpt from the yet to be published The Guidelines, Vol. 1, so there is a chance some of what you read below could change by the time of publishing.)

6. Once she knows she is comfortable with you in bed, then she knows she will be back in bed with you again.

Sure you could mess up completely by saying the wrong thing and she might return, but if you bust your ass making sure she is comfortable with you in bed, she will always come back. Once that comfort is taken away so is everything else you gained.

As guys we like to pretend we are studs in bed and just as long we are pornstar spectacular they will always want to come back. Well let me ask you this. Have you ever had sex with a woman and you just were not totally comfortable with it and therefore the sex was not that fun? I have. Let me tell you the story of Deadfish.

I have had sex with some big women in my lifetime. I am not ashamed to admit that. I have had sex with some women that aren’t on the good side of attractive. I am not ashamed to admit that. Almost every single time I have had sex with these women though I have enjoyed the sex because all women are beautiful in their own way and the sex was comfortable. Deadfish was a large and unattractive girl, but since it was her birthday and I am such a nice guy I figured I would give her the honors of having my penis inserted into her vagina. Who cares that there was alcohol in the mix?

Well we get to that point of insertion, but the position is not that comfortable. I am on top of her, but she won’t spread her legs. Now I am not asking her to form the letter ‘T’ with her body, but at least give me a lowercase ‘Y’. I was getting more of an ‘I’ out of her and although I am not the largest of men, it was not an easy fit. Now her ability to stay in the ‘I’ position for 45 minutes was beyond amazing to me. You know when you see an elevator closing and you rush to it only able to just get your arm stuck in the door, well that is how this situation worked out.

Wait…45 minutes?! Yes, I went at it for 45 minutes because I was determined to reach the finish line. This was no longer about her or her birthday, this was all about me completing this challenge. I was not comfortable doing so, the sex was not fun, but as a guy I find it my duty to finish off.

Funny thing is apparently she was very comfortable with the situation and wanted me to come back the next day. I guess I was still a good time for her because I do nice things to ladies in bed that make them comfortable…or in this case I could have been the first warm-blooded creature she had touched in years. Either way I have since removed the letter ‘I’ from my sexual alphabet and her number from my phone.

What I am trying to say is you want to make sex just as comfortable as having a coffee with you. It is okay to laugh and joke and have a mini-conversation while your bodies are dripping sweat onto each other and headboards are breaking. After you are done is the key. Maintain a conversation with her and let her know things are cool and her comfort zone will be reached.

Now that I wrote that I have no idea why I even bothered telling you the story of Deadfish. I am sure you learned a valuable lesson in there somewhere though. You are welcome.