It is finally here. Guidelines have been posted daily on this site and I have been collecting them for months now and putting them together in a book along with a collection of essays surrounding each one. The book includes even more than I intended with additional poems, jokes and tips from “experts”.
It was both fun and stressful writing my first book. Was kind of strange having to remember my past relationships that I seemed to have locked away in the part of my brain that doesn’t like to remember such things. Probably killed my love life for a while and might have to change my name, but I wrote it to help all my people out there!
Make sure to grab your digital copy today for $15. If you wish to snag a review copy for your blog or site, let me know and we can work something out.
When you are done with it, come back and let me know what you think.
May 21st, 2009 | No Comments »
A new temporary design is up that allows for the posting of user guidelines. Although the F:P crew could write about 1,000 more guidelines ourselves it doesn’t mean that we are the only ones that have great guidelines to live by.
All you have to do is connect to the site via Facebook and you can post all the guidelines you want. In the future, everyone will be able to vote on your guidelines and if they rate high enough they will be added to The Guidelines themselves.
As long as your guideline pertains to life, love, sex and all that jazz you are good to go.
April 21st, 2009 | No Comments »
Last week I was lucky enough to do an interview with Thord Daniel Hedengren (you know he gets the ladies with that name) over at The Blog Herald about Forever : Pimp and the upcoming book.
Be sure to check it out to get my thoughts on the future of F : P and where I would like to take things.
April 14th, 2009 | 2 Comments »
(Note: This is an excerpt from the yet to be published The Guidelines, Vol. 1, so there is a chance some of what you read below could change by the time of publishing.)
6. Once she knows she is comfortable with you in bed, then she knows she will be back in bed with you again.
Sure you could mess up completely by saying the wrong thing and she might return, but if you bust your ass making sure she is comfortable with you in bed, she will always come back. Once that comfort is taken away so is everything else you gained.
As guys we like to pretend we are studs in bed and just as long we are pornstar spectacular they will always want to come back. Well let me ask you this. Have you ever had sex with a woman and you just were not totally comfortable with it and therefore the sex was not that fun? I have. Let me tell you the story of Deadfish.
I have had sex with some big women in my lifetime. I am not ashamed to admit that. I have had sex with some women that aren’t on the good side of attractive. I am not ashamed to admit that. Almost every single time I have had sex with these women though I have enjoyed the sex because all women are beautiful in their own way and the sex was comfortable. Deadfish was a large and unattractive girl, but since it was her birthday and I am such a nice guy I figured I would give her the honors of having my penis inserted into her vagina. Who cares that there was alcohol in the mix?
Well we get to that point of insertion, but the position is not that comfortable. I am on top of her, but she won’t spread her legs. Now I am not asking her to form the letter ‘T’ with her body, but at least give me a lowercase ‘Y’. I was getting more of an ‘I’ out of her and although I am not the largest of men, it was not an easy fit. Now her ability to stay in the ‘I’ position for 45 minutes was beyond amazing to me. You know when you see an elevator closing and you rush to it only able to just get your arm stuck in the door, well that is how this situation worked out.
Wait…45 minutes?! Yes, I went at it for 45 minutes because I was determined to reach the finish line. This was no longer about her or her birthday, this was all about me completing this challenge. I was not comfortable doing so, the sex was not fun, but as a guy I find it my duty to finish off.
Funny thing is apparently she was very comfortable with the situation and wanted me to come back the next day. I guess I was still a good time for her because I do nice things to ladies in bed that make them comfortable…or in this case I could have been the first warm-blooded creature she had touched in years. Either way I have since removed the letter ‘I’ from my sexual alphabet and her number from my phone.
What I am trying to say is you want to make sex just as comfortable as having a coffee with you. It is okay to laugh and joke and have a mini-conversation while your bodies are dripping sweat onto each other and headboards are breaking. After you are done is the key. Maintain a conversation with her and let her know things are cool and her comfort zone will be reached.
Now that I wrote that I have no idea why I even bothered telling you the story of Deadfish. I am sure you learned a valuable lesson in there somewhere though. You are welcome.
April 13th, 2009 | 1 Comment »
Last week, I opened up the F : P Facebook Fan Page and invited my friends. Well luckily it caught on with a guy named “Steve The Key” (if that isn’t a pimp name I don’t know what is) and he invited his friends and now the page has over 300 fans! I know that isn’t anything like you see with FML, but what a great start and I hope we can continue the growing trend.
The page will serve as a way to update people on the new guidelines and in the future will also be providing special deals to only Fans of the page. So don’t miss out and make sure to become a Fan and let’s take F : P to new heights.
April 13th, 2009 | No Comments »
